Beating an unhealthy relationship with food

If someone were to ask you what your idea of a healthy relationship with food looks like, how would you answer? It probably looks like one half of this picture.

Usually, asking someone this question will trigger mental images of dressing free colourful salads and vegetables, with a dry and bland source of protein. And yes, this is…healthy, I guess; but what else is there to consider?

Being mindful of what we eat is useful, but obsessing over our diet is never healthy in any way. If you’re prone to restriction, constant thoughts of what you’re going to eat next, overeating, guilty feelings after eating an unhealthy food, bargaining with yourself i.e. “well I’m going to the gym tomorrow so I can eat that third cupcake”, or obsessing over the number on the scale and/or calories; there’s an issue.

Now don’t get me wrong. If you want to lose weight to benefit your health, keeping a watchful eye on the scale and caloric intake until you hit your goal is great; but where do you go from there? How do you remain vigilant that you don’t overdo the new lifestyle to the point that it starts to cause you harm?

What a healthy relationship with food looks like to me not only as someone who has in depth knowledge of nutrition and the psychology behind why we sometimes turn to certain foods, but also as someone who has had some issues themselves around food; is a pretty comprehensive list. I’ve never struggled with my weight, but I have definitely struggled to remain consistent and bounce between being super “good” when it comes to what I eat, and being a little bit “naughty” with some negative affects to my mental wellbeing.

The most important component to a healthy relationship with food is knowledge. Not only should we know what foods are good for our health and be familiar with what foods we might want to limit, but we should also try to be present. Engaging with ourselves before we eat, while we eat, and after we eat.

Equipping ourselves with the knowledge to unbiasedly and objectively look at our diet for what it is can be hard, and so can knowing when to stop eating, how to stop fretting, and how to be more in tune to match our moods to our cravings. Questioning where the trigger comes from, and knowing when it’s healthier to our mental wellbeing long-term to avoid or allow that infrequent unhealthy food that tastes so good.

If you ever find yourself in a trance around food, meaning you don’t necessarily take in what you’re eating, and you’re completely zoned out; this tends to be linked to something traumatic that isn’t being processed. This is something that I’ve done in the past. I wasn’t always enjoying my food, but just kind of chowing down, and I was completely unaware and not remotely present. I recognised that something was wrong and that I didn’t enjoy being in this mindset. You almost can’t call it a mindset because you’re not thinking. There’s nothing going on at a surface level which is really sad. It’s a mechanism we can develop in order to protect ourselves from dealing with difficult feelings, and more people than we think experience this type of interaction when it comes to consumption.

Just recognising those red flags is important to tackle a damaging relationship with food, and subsequently keep to a healthy weight and mentality. It helps us not fixate on anything or guilt ourselves because we dared to eat a pizza. It’s doing what we can to remain healthy minded. It’s recognising when we need help.

Some other mannerisms you should be on the lookout for are eating really quickly, not eating much at one time and overeating another, skipping meals, associating food “treats” with good behaviour or bad feelings, and even something as silly as getting pleasure staring at unhealthy foods or watching other people eat. These are habits that need to be explored.

To manage my own relationship with food, the first thing I did was admit it was a negative one. I was sad about it - I think I cried - but I was also really happy. I love food, but sometimes it was for the wrong reasons so it was cathartic to have that weight lifted. From then I started to explore my thoughts and feelings during certain moments. I’ve practiced mindful eating, recognising my mood behind that lust for unhealthy food, meal planning, and made use of many other tools to get me to where I am now where I’m so much more relaxed with it. I eat a healthy and varied diet, and don’t hate myself for eating a little bit of chocolate or going out for pizza every now and then.

If you’re struggling in any way; in that you might not be doing well with your diet, have recognised you have an emotional dependency on food, or food tends to affect your life in a harmful way; please reach out and get help. Because apart from admitting it to myself, the most helpful thing I did was put it out there and talk about it.

If you are looking to make a change in your diet, do your research and consider speaking with your GP. This article is not a means to self-diagnose. Ask for help and support.

Click here for Eat Well with the NHS

Click here for Five Steps to Mental Wellbeing with the NHS

Click here for Five Ways to Wellbeing with Mind

Click here for Mindfulness with the NHS